You know it’s hot in Japan when…

1) The walls of your apartment seem to be sweating almost as much as you are.

2) Opening your front door causes a backdraft.

3) Airborne insects begin to get woozy, losing all sense of direction to the extent that a 10 minute bike ride is liable to leave your face plastered with bug-based roadkill.

4) The sounds of the nocturnal randy frog chorus emanating from the rice paddies becomes deafening, usually around 3.30AM.

5) The temperature differential between air-conditioned department stores and the impossibly humid streets outside can potentially cause an afternoon’s shopping to result in a severe bout of pneumonia.

6) Everybody seems to feel the need to utter the words Atsui desu ne? (trans. “Hot, isn’t it?”) approximately every 5 seconds, despite the overwhelming obviousness of this statement making its very use, be it frequently or otherwise, completely redundant.

7) The carrying of small towels to regularly mop sweat from one’s brow, face, arms, neck, etc. becomes essential.

8) Showering becomes utterly pointless, the effort needed to towel oneself off afterwards itself generating more sweat than you had on you to start with.

9) Stepping off a train feels as though you’re walking into a blast furnace.

10) You find yourself doing 3 times the normal amount of laundry per week to combat the drastic increase in sweat stains and persistent odors suffered by your clothes, the only compensation being that after hanging your garments on the washing line they’ll usually be bone-dry within minutes.

11) Newspapers held in your sweaty hands begin to dissolve before your very eyes.

12) It feels like it's time to go home...